


Stranger things have happened

by Nival_Vixen



Series: Word of the day [18]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Welcome to Night Vale Setting, Complete, Derek has no idea who Stiles is, F/M, Laura is missing, M/M, Night Vale Community Radio, Night Vale Dog Park, One-Sided Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Radio Host Stiles, Stiles Loves Derek, The Voice of Night Vale, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, Welcome to Night Vale News Program Format, all hail the glow cloud
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1855387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nival_Vixen/pseuds/Nival_Vixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to the chagrin of Station Management, Stiles is the Voice of Beacon Hills Community Radio station. Derek Hale, a returned local, is a scientist who is looking for his sister Laura, who was last seen near the Dog Park.</p><p>...</p><p>Characters:<br/>Stiles is Cecil<br/>Derek is Carlos<br/>Scott is intern Dana (the only one who's kind of survived)<br/>Deucalion is Station Management (though no one actually knows that)<br/>Lydia is Mayor Pamela Winchell<br/>John/the Sheriff as ... the Sheriff! (no prizes for this guess)<br/>Jennifer Blake (Jenny) as Old Woman Josie<br/>Finstock as John Peters, you know, the farmer<br/>Jackson Whittemore as Steve Carlsberg</p><p>Also, Beacon Hills is Night Vale. Which shouldn't be much of a stretch, really. (So Night Vale Community Radio NVCR is now BHCR.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stranger things have happened

**Author's Note:**

> Word of the day: Environs
> 
> 1\. the surrounding parts or districts, as of a city; outskirts; suburbs.  
> 2\. surrounding objects; surroundings; environment.  
> 3\. an area or space close by; vicinity.
> 
> ...
> 
> You should probably be warned that Cecil is in my head narrating all of this.

Be wary of your surroundings, listeners. The Sheriff's Secret Police are watching you and listening to everything you say. Not like the Old Faceless Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home, she's all right. The Sheriff's Secret Police have eyes and ears everywhere, and are listening to every single thing you say, and watching every single thing you do. Usually through cameras and black SUV's with satellite dishes.

_Welcome to Beacon Hills._

The Sheriff's Secret Police issued a statement this morning stating that you will be taken away for re-education if you are heard or seen doing any of the following illegal activities:

  * talking about angels, looking for angels, attempting to find out the hierarchal structure of angels. Angels  _do not_  exist.
  * talking about mountains, looking for mountains, attempting to tell others that mountains are real. Mountains  _are not_  real.
  * talking about the red light that blinks, looking at the red light that blinks, going near the red light that blinks. There  _is no_  red light. Especially  _not_  a blinking one.



Also, a reminder from the Sheriff's Secret Police to speak clearly and loudly while talking to others, or even yourself, and if you are doing anything even remotely illegal, please try to make it seem obvious. It makes the Sheriff's Secret Police's job much easier to do, and the Sheriff himself needs all the help he can get at his age.

Mayor Lydia Martin called an emergency press conference today, stating that everything was well, and no one should look up into the sky because there was nothing there, especially not a glowing cloud. There were a few reporters that looked up, and they were immediately vaporised. Mayor Lydia Martin  **did**  warn them.

The local council would like to remind all citizens that the Dog Park is forbidden.  _Do not go near or into the Dog Park. No dogs are allowed in the Dog Park_.

And in other important local news, residents of Beacon Hills can finally welcome back one of our own. As some of our older listeners may remember, the Hale fire a few years ago left this town devastated with the loss of a large number of the Hale family. The Hales were beloved townsfolk with a high community spirit, and only two children survived. Now, Derek Hale has returned. He states that it is on business, as he is looking into the strange goings on in town, and that he is also looking for his sister. Laura Hale, according to Old Woman Jenny, was last seen at the Dog Park. If anyone has any news on Laura Hale, or witnesses a strange going on, please contact BHCR and we will forward your message on to Derek Hale.

I hope that everyone in town has met or at least seen Derek Hale. He was at Mayor Lydia Martin's second emergency press conference, telling us of the science-like things that have baffled and disturbed those outside of Beacon Hills, apparently. Derek Hale and his team of scientists have come to Beacon Hills to study these things, and Derek Hale stated that we are the most scientifically interesting town in America.  _Take that, Desert Bluffs_.

If everyone has seen Derek Hale, I hope we can all agree on how delightful a man he seems to be. His eyes are perfectly shaped and have a hundred different colours, much like the ocean that we never see in this part of the state, his hair is black and gorgeous, and his facial stubble is simply perfect. Have you seen more perfect stubble, listeners? I sure haven't.

Intern Scott has just handed me this note from Station Management. It is written in blood, as the ban on all writing implements and utensils is still in full effect. At least, I hope that is the reason why; you can never tell with Station Management. I will read the note aloud to you now.

_**Report the news, Stiles.** _

Oh, yes. Of course, of course. On to local traffic.

A man drives along the environs of the town. The man is not you, but he could be you. The car he drives is not yours, but it could be yours. The man who is not you drives the car that is not yours, and the man drives into town. The streets are clear of other cars, but people are standing in town. You may be one of these people. The people are all looking up at the sky, screaming. You are one of these people.  _You are screaming right now_. The man who is not you drives a car that is not yours into a town full of people that are screaming at the sky.

So... The lanes seem pretty clear, just be careful of any townsfolk that may wander into the road, listeners.

Now, sports!

Bobby Finstock, you know, the local lacrosse coach, is hoping for a win this year. Last year's team had some strong competition from Desert Bluffs, what with their latest member being part-bull and all, but we are being assured of a win this year. This confidence is mostly due to local teen Danny Mahealini growing a second head in the off-season. The second head is beloved by all of his team-mates and coach, and apparently speaks fluent Russian. Bobby Finstock, you know, the local lacrosse coach, says that Danny's second head will understand the plays of the Desert Bluffs lacrosse team and they  _will crush them hard_. Go, team!

And now, listeners, I bring you ... [the weather](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl7kq4G9FuM).

...

Welcome back, listeners. During the break, a message was received from  _Jackson Whittemore_. The message from  _Jackson Whittemore_  is marked urgent and everyone knows that urgent messages must be read. Even if they are from ... ugh,  _Jackson Whittemore_. So, here goes.

The Mayor, the local council, and the Sheriff's Secret Police are working together to deceive you, Beacon Hills. The sky outside has been covered in darkness and it is still the middle of the day. There is a cloud, it is glowing, and they are trying to cover it up and tell you that everything is fine, but it is not fine. The Mayor, the local council, and the Sheriff's Secret Police just want you to think it's fine so that you do not question the sky, nor the glowing cloud, and that you trust in them and all they do.

Okay. I'm just going to stop you right there,  _Jackson Whittemore_. We all know that the Mayor, the local council, and the Sheriff's Secret Police are trying to cover this up. The Mayor said exactly that this morning. Those that ignored her warning were vaporised - do you think Mayor Lydia Martin wants all of the townspeople of Beacon Hills to be vaporised? She, along with the local council and the Sheriff's Secret Police, are trying to  _save_  our citizens, and you  _Jackson Whittemore_ , would do better to judge your own life before the lives of others.

We have just had a call from Old Woman Jenny, who says that the angels that live in her home are worried... no, not worried,  _concerned_  about the glowing cloud. They say that the cloud is coming closer to town, and it is dropping creatures from its core, terrible horrible creatures that will destroy us all. Intern Scott, of course, reminded Old Woman Jenny that since angels are not real, there is no way that this news can be real nor reported on. Oh well. I have just had a look outside of my booth window, and the glow cloud does seem to be getting closer, listeners. In fact, it...

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

I am not sure what just happened, listeners. I tried listening to the tapes of the last few minutes, but they seem to be completely blank. As intern Scott has run outside to collect the animals that are littered across the street, I cannot ask him what happened, though I am not certain that he knows anyway.

Now, a word from our sponsors.

 _Static noise with high pitched screams every five seconds_.  
 **StrexCorp. Believe in a smiling god.**

...

A reminder, listeners: tomorrow is Street Cleaning Day.  **Hide** , listeners, do not make a sound, leave your weak and your sick where they fall, and I hope that you will survive to see another day.

Now, as the sun is setting, the mysterious glow cloud is continuing towards Desert Bluffs, and my show has come to an end.

If anyone happens to know Derek Hale personally, please tell him and his perfect stubble that I will be dining at Big Rico's Pizza tonight, and he is more than welcome to join me.

Good night, Beacon Hills. Good night.

... ... ...

Erica's not entirely sure what happened with the whole glowing cloud thing. She was inside the laboratory one minute, arguing with Boyd about the calming properties of Stiles' voice over the radio, and the next, they both found themselves outside screaming 'ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD' up at said glowing cloud. It was a little weird for their first day in Beacon Hills, and by the sounds of things, Erica assumed it was only going to get weirder still. (But she did manage to scoop a kitten-like creature off the street before it wandered in front of what seemed to be the only car on the road, so Erica's thinking a free pet's a total win and it won't be all that bad after all.)

"If you go to the shops to get food for Khoshekh here, I'll convince Derek that we need pizza for dinner," Erica negotiated.

Boyd just grinned and caught the car keys she threw towards him.

"I'm right, aren't I, Khoshekh? This isn't going to be so bad after all, is it, you cute lil' thing?" Erica cooed, scratching him behind his ear.

The roaring purr Khoshekh gave in return was obviously a noise of complete and utter agreement.

...

The end.

Thanks for reading.

(This was another fic that I had way too much fun writing!)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic: Stranger things have happened](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2146761) by [Procrastinata (NightShade)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightShade/pseuds/Procrastinata)




End file.
